All posts by Emily

Deep Roots

We’re living in Iowa for the fall, so of course the kids and I have been out hiking in this wonderful Midwest countryside, learning all about Iowa plants, especially prairie grass. Prairie grass can grow higher than my ten year old’s head, but even more remarkably, its root systems are three times as big as what you see above the ground!

As my kids were sketching away in their nature journals, I reflected on how these deep prairie grass roots are similar to the roots I’m investing in my kids’ lives each day. You usually can’t see the literal blood, sweat, and tears that I put into my children, morning, noon, and night, but that doesn’t mean that the unseen, mundane mothering is not essential for the visible flourishing. When you see my tall, happy, healthy ten year old boy who is helping boost his little sister up to drink out of the drinking fountain or who quickly goes and rounds up everyone’s coats while I’m saying my last goodbyes at church, I see the thousands of hours of reading, playing, and snuggling together that I’ve invested so that our relationship is one of security and deeply felt love. I see the hundreds of times I’ve had to follow through with consequences when he hasn’t immediately obeyed me, training him that we obey “right away, all the way, and with a cheerful heart.” I see all the sibling squabbles when I’ve had to drop everything I was doing and referee, sometimes for hours, and the extra time I’ve invested in making sure that he doesn’t just obey me and share with his sisters, but that I actually reach his heart and help him see how important it is that he see those three little girls as precious gifts, not just inconvenient pests. I see the times that he’s down on himself for failing again and I have to speak words of encouragement and praise for the progress he’s made in other areas. Anyone who has helped their child overcome a sinful tendency knows just how often our attention and assistance are essential to this little person with an immortal soul. Even as I’ve sat and typed out this paragraph, I’ve had to pause about six times for a parenting investment!

We full-time mothers often struggle to articulate what is so wrong about those working mom blog posts that insist they do everything we do—and put in 50 hours a week at the office, too. Such a comparison is ridiculous, of course, because it’s only focusing on the visible things (yes, we all feed our children dinner and drive them to soccer practice) and pretending that a human soul can be adequately tended merely on evenings and weekends. It’s like comparing two plants, both which grow to ten feet tall, without noting that one has roots that will hold it secure in a thunderstorm while the other is rooted so shallowly that anyone can come along and pull it up. If you’re on a nature hike with a two year old who has managed to push her stroller over the side of a hill dropping 30 feet into a ravine, which kind of plant would you want her to encounter on the way down? In our case, catastrophe was averted for both toddler and stroller because the deep roots of the prairie grass held fast and stopped her close enough to the top for us to hoist her back up. Deep roots are important, even though you can’t see them.

If you are a new mom holding a baby who is sleeping or crying most of the time, and you don’t see that producing breastmilk or mixing up a bottle is building any roots, think of the security and nurture that you are giving your child with skin-to-skin contact, gazing into each other’s eyes, knowing each other’s smells and sounds and facial expressions. As a certified foster parent, I can tell you countless stories of kids who don’t have that bond in their early weeks and months and struggle to adapt for the rest of their lives.

If you are a mom in the trenches with two or more little people, plus a baby, wearing spit up on your shirt and reaching into your purse for your wallet and pulling out a sippy cup instead, don’t let the world tell you that you’re wasting your talents or (strangely, often simultaneously) that your company is not enough for your child. The kind of socialization your preschoolers need is not a room full of other three year old narcissists overseen by one or two unrelated childcare professionals (no matter how sweet). Your little people need to know how they fit into a family unit, the basis of community, and they need to be cared for by an adult who loves them and who will never stop loving them or praying for them to grow into men and women of integrity and faith. There are many important jobs out there, but nothing is more important than the tending of a human soul.

If you are a homeschooling mom like Anna and Bethany and me, don’t measure yourself by your failures (as opposed to the homeschooling supermom you follow on Instagram). And if you haven’t noticed, we can’t do it all, either. Notice that we’re not doing much blogging anymore? Our own housefuls of students are keeping us busy. Repent openly to your children when you lose your temper, ask the same of them, and remember that each new day is a new chance for you and your kids to grow in self control and diligence. Don’t let yourself think that nothing was accomplished because “all” you did today was math, spelling, and reading aloud. Even if your kids need a calculator and spell check when they’re adults, they won’t forget the comfort of snuggling on the couch, reading Farmer Boy or Charlotte’s Web or The Hobbit. You’re the primary influence shaping their tastes and aspirations, and you know better than anyone else when they need a read-aloud day (and when they just need to buckle down and do their Latin and drill their math facts and finish that writing assignment). You are the world’s leading expert on your child.

Go tend those roots!

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Posted in For New Moms, Importance of Mothers | Leave a comment

Hidden Art Friday 

You guys, I just had the best banana bread of my life. If you don’t have ripe bananas, go buy some now. You need to make this browned butter buttermilk banana bread recipe, stat. I am in love with browned butter, and it makes your kitchen smell divine.

Do you do a special breakfast for the first day of school?  Our first day will be Tuesday, which is rather late compared to most of our friends, but we just moved across the country after my 6 year old had major surgery this summer, so we’ve taken all of August off.  Most of the year, we just have oatmeal or granola for breakfast, but I do like celebrating the start of a new school year with a special meal.  In the past, I’ve done muffins, cinnamon rolls, or French toast.  I’m thinking banana bread (because we’re in love with this recipe) and bacon this year.  Any other ideas I just have to try?

Happy September!

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Posted in Good Food, Hidden Art Fridays | 2 Comments

Book Review: Classical Me, Classical Thee

After I reviewed Eve in Exile on here (back in May), Canon Press contacted me to say that Bekah Merkle had written another book, this time on classical Christian education, and would I be interested in reviewing it? I was thrilled–anything Bekah and her sister Rachel write is an auto-read for me (I feel like I’m on a first-name basis with them because I listen to their podcast and follow them on Instagram)! But I clarified to Canon that we’re a blog for stay-at-home moms, not exactly the target audience for a book written expressly to high school students. As it turns out, this blog isn’t such an odd place to talk about the book, after all.

Classical Me, Classical Thee is indeed a quick read (I finished it over my morning tea) that eloquently and concisely articulates the reasons for a classical Christian education and its associated odd subjects for a skeptical teenager.  It’s also a good refresher for a parent like me who has spent years developing my philosophy of education and yet found myself stuttering this week when my ten year old looked over my shoulder while I was lesson planning and asked with a groan why he had to spend so much of his school day doing Latin this year.  And I think it’s a great, brief read for a young mom who is just starting to figure out what she thinks about the school options for her four year old.  At the very beginning of this philosophical journey, a long, detailed treatise (Bekah’s father literally wrote the book on classical Christian education) might be too much at this stage, and a detailed how-to-manual (I recommend The Well-Trained Mind, which provides the structure for our family’s particular flavor of classical Christian homeschooling) can look too crazy overwhelming.  Enter this little book–a brief fly-over of the topic that will hopefully have high school students turning back to their Latin translations with a bit more zest and certainly was just what this quasi-veteran homeschooler of six years needed to remind me of the big picture of why I’m being so counter-cultural in my children’s education in the first place.

Classical Me, Classical Thee begins and ends with a premise that I love telling my kids: “[R]eal life doesn’t begin in college.  You’re deep in it already.  The choices you’re making right now drastically affect your actual life.” (p. 10 of my ARC).  That might sound melodramatic but see my posts to the teenage girl who wants to be a SAHM someday.  I completely agree that we can’t wait until we’re 18 (or 22 or 30…) to start preparing for real life.  We want our kids developing good habits and character now.  The goal of a classical education, simply put, is “to turn you into a leader” (15), and not just any kind of leader–

They want to see you go out into the world with your loyalties intact; they want to see you stand for the right things, and fight for the right things, and persuade others of the right things, everywhere you go throughout your life.  They want to see you “enchant the souls” of all who come into contact with you as you display the beauty of the gospel in a full-orbed and robust Christian worldview.  They want you to know what you think and why you think it and be able to winsomely explain it to others.  They want to see you leave a mark on the world. (Ch. 8)

That’s an exciting vision!  Though my son is younger than the target audience, I’m planning to take him out on a mom-son date next week and read him this paragraph as we talk about the school year.  My girls are still in the I-love-all-of-school-because-I-get-to-sit-next-to-Mommy-and-be-a-big-kid stage, but I want to communicate this goal to them as they enter their tweens, too.

On to specifics, for those who are interested–my advanced copy was just 90 pages, but they pack a lot of punch.  There’s a chapter on Latin that argues the benefits, even if you forget every declension and conjugation.  (“As you expand your vocabulary, you’re learning much more that lists of words.  You’re learning about the universe.  You’re parsing feelings, sensations, actions, categories…You are broadening your mind.”)  (32-33) As a former high school literature teacher myself, I agreed emphatically with her chapter on the value of actually studying literature and not just our feelings about literature.  (“You are being taught to answer the question, “What does it mean?” and that is a fundamentally different question than “What does it mean to you?””) (40)  I’d probably add in more about the value of participating in the Great Conversation–that we read from the Canon because our intellectual discussions today don’t come out of a vacuum.  But she touches on the importance of context in her history chapter, and she has certainly spent more years teaching high schoolers than I did.  She probably knows what their actual hang-ups are more than I do.

The chapter on logic emphasizes the capacity for clear, logical reasoning as a form of “self defense,” and she explains in the rhetoric chapter that politics isn’t the only career path that requires clear communication and persuasion.  Even her chapter on math and science, subjects where the content might not be different from a public school class, points out that the context will be different because “If you study math and see it as a reflection of your Creator-as the work of an artist with love and intentionality behind it-then you view math completely differently than someone who believes everything we see is the result of blind chance.” (64-65)  I already quoted from the worldview chapter, but she underscores the importance of actually providing a moral and spiritual foundation for all the learning: “Because, and I acknowledge this cheerfully, if you graduate with all of the skills but none of the discernment, then you’re actually turning into a monster.”) (61)  Throughout the book, I enjoyed the solid, practical analogies.  A road map, a card game, a twisty mall, a puzzle–there are lots of fun pictures that help bring high-level philosophical ideas down to earth.  The style is chatty, approachable, and fun.

If you couldn’t tell, I heartily recommend this slim book for the high schooler or the young parent.  I will say that this book presumes that students are in a brick-and-mortar classical Christian school.  I’ve never lived close enough to a CC school for that to be an option for our family (though there is a classical Christian high school in Santa Monica that we like the looks of, if we could afford the hundreds of thousands of dollars required to send all our crew through), and obviously you know that all of us E2S founders are homeschooling our families.  I believe Classical Me, Classical Thee can be part of the home library toolbox for families, regardless of where their children end up receiving their education.

 

I received a copy of the ACCS pre-release edition directly from Canon Press in return for my unbiased review.  All the book links are affiliate links, so if you click through them and order any of the recommended books, we receive a tiny percentage that we use to help cover our blog hosting fees.

Posted in Book Reviews, Homeschooling | Leave a comment

Hidden Art Friday

Happy Friday! Today our library had a fun event where kids got to make homemade veggie pizzas for a snack. Whole wheat tortillas spread with cream cheese or hummus and spread with a bunch of yummy fixings. My kids were huge fans, and we have a new lunch option!

Posted in Good Food, Hidden Art Fridays | Leave a comment
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